The Countdown Continues - Forgiveness!

Today's liturgy of the word was about God's forgiveness! Forgiveness! Let me put it out straight, whenever I hear the topic of forgiveness, the first thought that comes to my mind is My Father and the next one is I want to hurt my father! I want him to feel the pain I've felt all this while, for not being there for me, but even more for all the promises he's made and never come through! From the birthday gifts promises, to the coming to meet me promises (He did say he'll come to meet me in India too)! Yes, you're all friends of mine, and you probably know about all this! I've termed my relationship with my father as the "Relationship of Broken Promises". There's always a tendency in me to want to say something that'll just break his heart and hurt him! I at least told him once to stop making promises to me, that did help, there's less, actually no promises now! But still, he acts like all is well, and wants to always seem right! He always wants his solutions to be right! He once came to meet mum and I and after so many years, he wanted to just lift us off our feet and go live with him, that too after not asking for forgiveness! (Was he mad?) It is hard to trust and understand his motives sometimes!

He, however, I believe has had some enlightenment! He seems to be more Christian nowadays (I don't know to what extent he was initially)! He speaks wisely, and writes lengthly about various spiritual stuff! (even on facebook)! He's even doing well in his company, something he started (he wants me to work there)! But he has failed terribly to bridge the gap we have (Am I blaming him too much?)! Something that could be done by a simple "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me"! Not a complicated process that he envisions! I'm most sad however, that my grandfather, who totally hates my dad, may go to his grave without forgiving him!

It's not that I don't want to forgive him, I've spoken a lot to my friends and even once to a priest, and even emailed him I believe! They all seem to tell me to forgive him, and thought I've tried, and actually told myself a couple of times that I've forgiven him! I've never really done! The priest however, a very close friend of mine, Fr. Selvam, a salesian, told me to take my time! He told me to reflect and take some time to forgive him, because forgiveness is a process! I've taken his advice dearly! I just hope that I'm not taking such a long time!!!!

My apologies if this post is very grim and sad! I've actually come to get used to this! I actually laugh about all this and my favorite song to reflect this has always been (You may wanna check it out, it's funny:)

JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, HOW DO I STOP BITING MY NAILS?????

DADDY WASN'T THERE!

The Countdown Continues - A Thought In My Mind

Sometimes I look at myself and say, "Look at that man". And then that little kid in me steps out and calls me my grandfather's favorite nickname for me, "Grown Up Baby"! We smile at each other and life goes on!

Alfred, the Googler is leaving today! Wishing him all the best! May he revolutionize Google! Make us proud boy!

The Countdown Countinues: 18 days to go + Blog gets new look! (Today, Meet the man behind the change)

Well, as you've all seen, my blog has a new look! Hope you'll find it nicer! The man behind the change, well you'll know him soon!

But first Some news:

Mum's doing great! Thanks for your prayers! Spoke to her, she thanked you all for your prayers! Greetings to you all!

It is now confirmed, I'm leaving India on the 29 th (or 28 th) of June, depending on what mummy says! so we almost have an official countdown now! 18 (or 17) days to go!

Remember that other story I told you about in the last post! Well, it's about to unveil today! I'll start where I left off! In class, I sat with Alfy in the first bench, to be able to easily communicate with the teachers! A couple of benches back, sat another pair! This pair consisted of Shrayas and Jerry!

Shrayas: The man behind the blog's new look!

Now, in India, whenever a professor asks a question in class, the whole class will start giving answers, no one being actually specific :)! However, there were some questions that the professor would ask and only one guy would answer, that was Shrayas! I admired this guy, but He seemed so stuck up! (He is, to strangers though)! I remember he always attempted to fold his legs and somehow put them on the bench! Unlike most of my other classmates, this was the one guy who never said hello or even smiled!

Well, one day, the professor had to take leave. And he sent us all to the library to read about something! I think it was a sorting algorithm! And I went to the library, sat down, followed the guys around to see if they could help me, but found no one who could! Then I sat down, and near me was this guy, Shrayas, standing there, doing nothing! I assumed, and I soon learnt that my assumption was correct, that he already knew what we were supposed to be reading about! So as we say in Swahili "Kuuliza si ujinga" ~ It's never foolish to ask, I humbled myself and asked Shrayas if he knew exactly what we were supposed to do! He answered yes, and started to explain enthusiastically the entire thing! Which made quite a lot of sense. From then, we became friends! Connected by our thirst to code and know stuff! I've learnt a lot from this guy, in some cases, more than I've learnt from some of my professors! What took my professors one or two full classes to make us understand, he took 5 to 10 minutes to get me up to speed!

Shrayas knows very little people he calls friends, perhaps it's his 'ATTITUDE' issues! Lol! But the friends he has he treasures dearly! He's the kinda guy who can cry if you hurt him! Sometimes, however, he acts too tough but he's just one very emotional kid! He has played the greater role of being the glue of our friendship! Always pushing us to do stuff for each other, you know on birthdays n stuff! Shrayas and Alfy are the guys who I always fought with for the top spot in class! It was never really a competition, it came naturally I guess! We were (are) simply smart! All of us, at least at one point, have had the top spot! I believe Shrayas beat us all ultimately!

Shrayas and I have worked on a number of projects together with Alfred and Jerry! It has always been fun to work together! We've learnt a lot, about each other and about our studies!

Shrayas is going to work / study at SAP - System Analysis and Programming! A German Based Company! The place he's going to work, in Bangalore, is known as the second biggest SAP institution in the world! Gotta say, this guy would fit right in! I wish him all the best!

Oh yeah, as best friends as we are, Shrayas gets my jokes 10 minutes later :P!

Jerry: aka Nithyananda (The Flash Guy):

Jerry or Nithyananda or Jerrence, you choose! Is another one of my best friends! As i slowly knew Shrayas, I also knew Jerry! Jerry is one sweet, creative guy! Jerry's short and wears specs! He has a slightly dark complexition! We call him Nithyananda because of his tendency to always "FLY" and go hang around his girls (One of which he dearly likes)! Plus, most of his friends are girls! Hahaha! Heard of Flash? It's one of Adobe's Multimedia tools, used to make dynamic pages and animations! Well, this guy is a genius! He can do wonders in only a couple of minutes! Jerry has a simple outlook to life! Jerry's funny and kind, and I believe he's one of those guys who can take care of you in case you've any problems or issues! (Atleast he helps the girls ;))

Jerry has been part of our crew! He's always surfing among the top 5 to 7 in class! Recently he has had companies fighting for him (No not girls, companies)! This is because of the flash he knows! I wish him all the best in the new company he's working in! I also wish him all the best in the pursuit of happiness and the girl of his dreams, whom before he even knew it, we knew he had fallen for! Take care buddy, be good!

LESSON:

I thought of sharing nothing for today! But, what the heck:

PUNCTUALITY: If you've to go somewhere, and it's extremely time sensitive, make sure you're ready to leave atleast one hour before the actual timing (if it's near) even earlier if it far! Or you might just end up chasing the train, like I did and almost falling as I jumped on it! But that's another story! I'm late somewhere ;)

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES - IT MAY ACTUALLY BE SHORTER :| (BE STILL MY SOUL)

Ungerudi mapema, ili mama aweze kurecover mapema - You should come back early, so that mum recovers fast! That's the last message I got from my aunt just before I slept last night! I guess it's time I contact the Airlines people! Do pray for her! I'll keep you posted what happens! Still haven't heard about her test results! Hopefully nothing serious! :)

BE STILL MY SOUL


lyrics

Today, I'll share with you two other lessons I've learnt! But before that, more about my friends to tell!

As soon as college started, I met a couple of people! These guys would also form the group of people I call my best friends! On my first day of college, I remember meeting the following people, Alfred Jerome, Siva Kumar and Shreth. Although Alfred went on to become one of my closest friends (This guy really understands me), Siva Kumar became rather an acquaintance. Alfred and Siva Kumar were among the guys who walked with me during the Orientation walk around the college!

Alfred Jerome is an INNOCENT LOOKING young man! Note that I stressed on Innocent Looking! With the little experience I have in my short life, I know that this guy isn't bloody innocent. But that Innocent look has got him out of a lot of trouble! LOL! Alfred is bright, creative and he has ways of thinking up situations that I would never have thought of. That I surely appreciate and admire! He's one of the few people who actually gave me trouble in class, one of the few people who competed with me and the other friend (Yet to be mentioned)! The thing with Alfy is that he's always understood me, from the first day! He'd get my jokes, sarcasm and hidden meanings! He has a good heart and he's extremely determined. He can achieve whatever he decides to put his mind into. And guess where he's going to work... GOOGLE! He's leaving tomorrow! All the best dude! I'll miss you! God bless you!

Siva Kumar was rather an acquaintance as mentioned, but he's a funny, annoying guy! He has a way of getting on my nerves, which I slowly learnt to ignore, and I mastered beautifully. He's working for Nokia now, all the best dude!

Mehul Chongtham Shreth! Shreth is a Manipuri friend of mine! Shreth was in the same class with Sam and John, while I was in another class with Alfred and some other friends to be mentioned later! Shreth is funny, humble and cool! Shreth is always there when you need him (like all friends are)! I wish him all the best as he pursues his career!

While me and Alfred sat on the front bench, a couple of benches behind, another friendship was being formed! How this friendship affected my life... Well, that's another story!

Breaking News: Spoke to mum, she's ok! :)

Now back to the lessons!

The first lesson: Now, I'm a lazy guy! And this has taught me one thing! NEVER LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES ON THE LINE LONGER THAN NECESSARY! Lol! :)! Well, there's a lot that can happen! It may rain, some other person might move them and drop them, or crows can do what they do best, aim and pupu on the clothes :)! So take em off as soon as they're dry!

The second lesson: I've given it the acronym AMAID, that is Always Make An Informed Decision! To most of you, this might actually sound weird, perhaps you've always made informed decisions! My decisions, I believe, have been led by emotions and maybe my nature to never be informed. I thank my mother, for always letting me make my decisions, freely and independent, for never pressuring me, and for respecting, always my choices! As I've graduated, my life has to take a course, a course that I'll have to decide upon pretty soon! I'm getting informed now!!! :)

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES - A LESSON LEARNT

Well, before I start with today's entry, let me share with you some information! My results came out yesterday. I've passed very well. Got a first class, with distinction! I'm proud of myself, though not that much excited by the whole deal! ;-) .

My mum's still not very well! They've discharged her from the hospital, but she still has to go for tests on Monday, and she has to attend clinic for the next month, or is it next month, it wasn't very clear to me! I've this feeling I'm not being told everything! Do pray for her well being!

Before I start sharing the lesson I've learnt, today I'd like to honor a few people I met earlier! These are the first few, of many, Indian friends I made. My seniors (From TZ), had made a lot of friends, so as college was reopening, they began coming back to the hostel, and came to meet us. I did meet a loooooooot of people, however, I shall mention a few, who came out to be my best friends later. The list consists of Alfred Sundarraj, Steve Salvius and Niren Yadav! There are many others!

Alfred, this humble, funny, kind soul is one heck of a guy! I've been amazed with his generosity and humility! There's a lot I've been through with him, his support has been immense and much appreciated! He's the best person to make you feel at home among a group of strangers and a good singer too! I wish the best in him as he aims higher in life, may God bless him abundantly

Steve is one of the most creative, funny and great musicians I've met. Steve's also kind and very giving and dedicated to whatever he puts his mind to. Currently working at UBS (or is it USB ... lol) and doing great! I've not managed to spend time with Steve this year, as he graduated last year! I and the choir have surely missed his presence and sense of humor! Hope to see him one more time before I leave! God bless him!

Niren, the young one had an amazing sense of humor too, great at making and organizing plans, great MC too! I surely admit, I've missed all the planning he used to make for various events and food outings! He's currently in Mumbai, pursuing his studies and I believe working as an intern! Wishing him all the best in life and career, may God bless him!

THE LESSON!
The lesson I'd like to share with you today, isn't really something new, but rather something that's been said before! Once you experience it, it is registered! The lesson is, THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE! Yes, our forefathers were right in saying this! Not telling or not living the truth will lead to a life of anxiety and fear! It'll lead us to hating people and being angry at them for no reason! Personal experience has led me to understand that the truth is a very powerful tool! If you're broke, say you're broke! If you're not comfortable with someone or something, say that you're not! If you can't make it for something, tell it! If you cannot promise, then don't! And if you love someone, tell them (Mh!!!)! The list goes on and on! But basically, these encompass the most situations I've faced!

As I said, the truth is a powerful tool! It may, however, not always work as we expected it to work! But all in all, I still believe it's for the best! I mean, although they said truth will set you free, our forefathers were also careful to warn us in advance, THE TRUTH HURTS! May I correct them a bit and say, THE TRUTH MAY HURT :)! It may hurt the truther or the truthee or both the truther and the truthee! It may strengthen friendships, or it may weaken them! It may win her/his heart, or it may push it away (ouch)! It may bring us glory and trust, but it may also make us look like cowards! But ultimately, we're free! We don't hold grudges, we are no longer anxious! We are at peace! We just have to hope, therefore, that others will realize our truth and respect us for telling it! In most cases they do, and that's what is great about THE TRUTH!

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES - A TRIBUTE TO SAM, JOHN AND ZAKA

Well, to start of, let me explain the reason for these series of entries! I decided that on each day (yeah, I've fallen behind lately), I'll have an entry, explaining an experience, a lesson i learnt throughout my stay in India. Aim is to be done with everything by the time I leave (hope I do)

Well, today, I shall dedicate this entry to Sam, John and Zaka. These guys are among the best friends I've had. The reason I'm dedicating this to them is because they have recently left and gone back home. Sam and John, to Zambia, left yesterday, Zaka, to Tanzania left the day before yesterday!

With these brothers I've shared some of the funniest, challenging and interesting moments. These guys have made me laugh the most. From Zaka's problems with his memory, to Tole's crazy imaginations, to John's philosophical phrases... To a lot! The support these guys have given me is immense and their friendship I shall forever cherish!

Perhaps a lot more meaningful, was the fact that these were the first really people I had to live with like they were my siblings. Being an only child, I had to learn a lot, from sharing my things to tolerating other people's way of life! They've contributed to my growing up!!!

Finally, My entry has reminded me of another countdown. This countdown was initiated by John on one of our chats well before college had begun for us, first year. This countdown had 1095 days (365 * 3), that is, the number of days to finish college. It indicated the anxiety we had, and the impatience that made us want to go home! Well, I'm glad to say that the countdown has long been forgotten. With time we got accustomed to this place, we got friends, and the days just swift by!

All the best bros!!!

THE BEGINNING OF IT ALL: (THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS (UNKNOWN DAYS TO GO))

The beginning of June marked, to me, the beginning of a countdown. A countdown to the day I leave India and go back home. I've yet to decide on a particular date, though 26th of June seems to be the probable day! All that I'll know by today! The decision is ultimately up to me! No longer than 30th June though!

June brought with it it's own changes. For instance, I had to move early in the morning yesterday from the Hostel where I've stayed almost my entire college life to Ndaki's place, a little nearer to the airport :) ! The move, though to a more comfortable place, was nevertheless extremely emotional. I had that feeling you get when you're about to cry! I had it, I had it for a looooooooooong time!

What a contrast, however, to the feeling I had when I first arrived to India. When I first got to India, my first instinct was how and when can I go back home??? IT WAS HOT! And the hostel, was well, the hostel. That I ultimately stayed here was a challenge to me. A challenge I've somehow managed to overcome. I was not alone though!

I shall dedicate my endurance to the following people, who's presence made me feel a little at home, and encouraged me. They are Zakaria Moshi, Amonson Asseri, Gabriel Kavishe, later on Samson Peter Mtonga, John Dickson Mtonga, Christopher Rwiza and last but not least Samuel Efrem. They made the first days interesting!